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"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
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"I'm always happy when I'm cleaning, and besides, I had just found out that I was going to have a baby."
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Personal Development
"We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby."
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Personal Development
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."
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Personal Development
"Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view."
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Personal Development
"If the feminist program goes to pieces on the arrival of the first baby, it's false and useless."
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Personal Development
"Well, the first year I lost my voice I didn't mind so much because I was going to have a baby and I was distracted with him anyway, I didn't even think about it that much, well, OK, this is what's happening."
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Personal Development
"Parenthood always comes as a shock. Postpartum blues? Postpartum panic is more like it. We set out to have a baby; what we get is a total take-over of our lives."
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"Senorita was fun to sing, but I don't really have a favorite. When you write a bunch of songs, they're like your babies. You don't pick favorites."
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Personal Development
"A man is not complete until he has seen the baby he has made."
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Personal Development
"My initial career, really, as a baby, was as a singer."
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"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
Family
"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
Home
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
Present
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
People
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President
"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."
Moon
"There's no down time any more."
Time
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
People
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
People
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