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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
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"There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does."

"I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day."

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
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