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"I was born nine months premature."
Months
"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."
Military
"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
Girlfriend
"I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road."
Driving
"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
Country
"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
Information
"I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."
Time
"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless."
Boss
"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride."
Cause
"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me."
Identity
More
"We were a fast-growing company, and I was a demanding boss."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No man bosses me around, and no man ever will."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Second, if you're the boss, just because they don't ask doesn't mean your employees don't have needs."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The type of contract between players and producers is, I feel, antiquated in form and abstract in concept. We have no privacies which producers cannot invade, they trade us like cattle, boss us like children."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Even the frankest and bravest of subordinates do not talk with their boss the same way they talk with colleagues."
Author Name
Personal Development
"OK, boss, I don't mind shuffling, but I won't scratch my head."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I loved my role on Who's the Boss? There is always some of me in every character that I play."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's always better to deliver the news yourself rather than allow your boss to be surprised."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."
Author Name
Personal Development
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