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"The first step to stringing the boss up from a lamppost is saying the boss is a moron."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I can bring joy into the world, if I can get people to stop thinking about their pain for a moment, or the fact the tomorrow morning they're going to get up and tell their boss off... then I'll be successful."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't mind The Boss. I think he's an honest guy. I have some of his records, not all of them. I've met a couple of the E-Street guys, and they seem really cool."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whether they run a record company or a grocery store, every boss will tell you you're in big trouble if you're borrowing more than you can ever afford to pay back. Delaying the pain for future generations is suicidal. We've got to start getting the deficit down right now, not next year."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The worst mistake a boss can make is not to say 'well done'."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's always better to deliver the news yourself rather than allow your boss to be surprised."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I want to have a bunch of kids so I can boss them around."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"People read me but they don't subscribe."
People
"I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger."
Home
"I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."
Time
"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
Information
"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride."
Cause
"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me."
Identity
"My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese."
Family
"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
Country
"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless."
Boss
"They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults."
Thought
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