"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

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"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

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Explore more quotes by Woody Allen

"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."

Food

"If I could only see one miracle just one miracle. Like a burning bush or the seas part or my uncle Sasha pick up a check."

Faith

"I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend."

Humor

"What is fascinating is that it is physical. You know, that's one thing about intellectuals, they've proved that you can be absolute brilliant and have no idea what's going on. But on the other hand, the body doesn't lie, as we now know. Nono, it'll be great, because all of those ph.Ds are in there, like, discussing modes of alienation, and we'll be in here quietly humping."

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"Tradition is the illusion of permanance."

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"Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there."

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"Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens."

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"There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope."

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"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib."

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"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue."

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