"There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all."

Now, Pollution

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"There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all."

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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Now, Santa claus, Weather

"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."

John Dryden, English Poet

Now, Will

"What is now proved was once only imagined."

William Blake, English Poet

Now,

"The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Now,

"If matters go badly now, they will not always be so."

Horace, Roman Poet

Now, Will

"For years I wanted to be older, and now I am."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Now, Years

"The month of January, we were number one. Now, this is something we're proud of, because we recognize we're up against a formidable operation there at CNN."

Brit Hume, American Journalist

Now,

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."

Bertrand Russell, British Philosopher

Now, Question

"Damn the sword! When Virginia wanted a sword, I gave her one. Now she sends me a toy! I require bread!"

George Rogers Clark, American Soldier

Now,

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

Woody Allen, American Director

Now,

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"With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!"

Luck

"Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."

Health

"Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch."

People

"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."

Humor

"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."

Children

"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."

American

"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."

Politicians

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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."

"What is now proved was once only imagined."

"The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire."

"If matters go badly now, they will not always be so."

"For years I wanted to be older, and now I am."

"The month of January, we were number one. Now, this is something we're proud of, because we recognize we're up against a formidable operation there at CNN."

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."

"Damn the sword! When Virginia wanted a sword, I gave her one. Now she sends me a toy! I require bread!"

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

Explore more quotes by Robert Orben

"With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!"

"Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."

"Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch."

"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."

"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."

"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."

"Do your kids a favor - don't have any."

"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator."

"Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people."

"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."