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"There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all."
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"I am now seventy, rather glad, really, that I won't live to see the horrors to come in the 21st century."
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"Students now arrive at the university ignorant and cynical about our political heritage, lacking the wherewithal to be either inspired by it or seriously critical of it."

"I take responsibility for myself and what I do now."

"I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all."
Explore more quotes by Robert Orben

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

"I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

"Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price."
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