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"I met my wife by breaking two of my rules: never date a girl seriously that you meet at a nightclub and never date a fan."
Wife,

"He asked why and I said, 'Because Gwyneth has a fat suit, my wife has a fat suit - I don't get a fat suit?' He looked at me and said, 'You mean you don't have one on?'"
Wife,

"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."
Explore more quotes by Thomas R. Dewar
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