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"Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese."
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Exlpore more Lying quotes
"I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'"
"I wouldn't abandon nobody. I would be lying if I said I was just talking to everybody."
"I knew when I grew up, I always wanted to be a liar, and if you're in television, you're lying because you're just pretending to be yourself much like I'm doing now."
"If you had told me I'd be making 62 tomorrow, I'd say you were lying."
"There's no point in lying saying I am doing really, really well because I'm not; I'm cult level."
"See that you buy the field where the Pearl is; sell all, and make a purchase of salvation. Think it not easy: for it is a steep ascent to eternal glory: many are lying dead by the way, slain with security."
Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller
"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."
"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
"The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens."
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
"Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time."
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