"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."

Woman, Years

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"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."

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Explore more quotes by Johnny Carson

"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."

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"People will pay more to be entertained than educated."

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"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."

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"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."

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"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved."

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"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."

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"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."

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"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

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"We're more effective than birth control pills."

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