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"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."
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"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."
Author Name
Personal Development
"How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The whole Indian thing, I always say it's really the American holocaust. It's something we need to look at."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Actually, today I had to defend the Bush Administration in France again. They refuse to accept, because of their political ideology, that he has actually done more than any American President for Africa. But it's empirically so."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like The White Stripes and I like the kinda twang American thing right now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Elvis Presley, The Everly Brothers, and a lot of American artists were my greatest influences."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm very aware when I'm speaking to the English of how flat my Mid-Atlantic American voice is."
Author Name
Personal Development
"American audiences tend to be more expressive than British ones."
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Personal Development
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"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
Trust
"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
Marriage
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
Business
"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
Parenting
"Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time."
Time
"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
Marriage
"I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess."
Chess
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
Internet
"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."
American
"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
Truth
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