"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."

American, Day

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"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."

Exlpore more American quotes

"Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

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"I keep forgetting I'm speaking in an American accent sometimes. The dangerous thing is that you end up forgetting what your real accent is after a while! It's really strange; I've never done a job in an American accent before."

Robert Pattinson, English Actor

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"I have made more friends for American culture than the State Department. Certainly I have made fewer enemies, but that isn't very difficult."

Arthur Miller, American Playwright

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"We went to see all the shows. American musical theater and jazz were very big."

Carly Simon, American Musician

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"How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?"

Dwight D. Eisenhower, American President

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"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."

Dennis Miller, American Comedian

American, Day

"So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda."

John Steinbeck, American Author

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"I wouldn't have made it past the first round of American Idol auditions. It was months before our first song was recorded. The guys were like, 'Just seeng!' And I was like, 'I don't know how to seeng! Can't I just play the triangle?'"

Malin Akerman, Swedish Actress

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"Though race-related issues continue to occupy a significant portion of our political discussion, and though there remain many unresolved racial issues in this nation, we, average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about things racial."

Eric Holder, American Public Servant

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"Regis has a great rapport with the American public."

Wink Martindale, American Entertainer

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Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller

"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."

American

"The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt."

Global warming

"Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese."

Lying

"Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on."

Money

"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."

Parenting

"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"

Marriage

"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."

Man

"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."

Education

"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."

Internet

"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."

Guilt