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Lefty Gomez

"I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish."

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"I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish."

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"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

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"GreenHollyWood is a bad character, fat, liking jokes, liking jokes about size, about the large, about the how big are you. Likes to laugh when you make a mistake, ... but but he is a teacher?! With a glasses a fat guy!"

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Amber Hurdle

"Good friends, very good what's the equation motherfucker???"

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Amber Hurdle

"They lack suggestive power. And when a book lacks suggestive power, however hard it hits the surface of the mind it cannot penetrate within."

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"To me she said, "It's this stupid gotcha thing, they've been doing it for weeks now. Leaping out at each other and us, scaring the hell out of everyone.""It's a game of wits," Bert said to me."Half-wits," Kristy added."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

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Amber Hurdle

"Epic sex?" I sputtered. "By what standards, precisely, is sex judged to be epic?""And tons and tons of mortal simps like you used as pawns." Bob sighed happily, ignoring my question. "There are no words. It was like the Lord of the Rings and All My Children made a baby with the Macho Man Randy Savage and a Whac-A-Mole machine."

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

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Amber Hurdle

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

Explore more quotes by Lefty Gomez

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Lefty Gomez
"I'm the guy that made Joe DiMaggio famous."
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Lefty Gomez
"No one hit home runs the way Babe did. They were something special. They were like homing pigeons. The ball would leave the bat, pause briefly, suddenly gain its bearings, then take off for the stands."
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Lefty Gomez
"The secret of my success was clean living and a fast outfield."
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Lefty Gomez
"I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish."
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