"I'm the guy that made Joe DiMaggio famous."

"The secret of my success was clean living and a fast outfield."

"I've got a new invention. It's a revolving bowl for tired goldfish."

"No one hit home runs the way Babe did. They were something special. They were like homing pigeons. The ball would leave the bat, pause briefly, suddenly gain its bearings, then take off for the stands."