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"I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh."
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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."
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Personal Development
"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."
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Personal Development
"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
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Personal Development
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
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Personal Development
"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."
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Personal Development
"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."
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Personal Development
"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."
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Personal Development
"Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name."
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Personal Development
"The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action."
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Personal Development
"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."
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"I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration."
Frustration
"I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl."
Time
"I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof."
Money
"I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh."
People
"I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved."
Hate
"We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle."
Battle
"A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere."
Blame
"I didn't really want to be a comedian."
Want
"If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial."
Attitude
"I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me."
Love
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