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Dennis Miller

"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."

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"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."

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Asa Don Brown

"In order that all men may be taught to speak the truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it."

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Asa Don Brown

"Opposition may become sweet to a man when he has christened it persecution."

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Asa Don Brown

"A little skill in antiquity inclines a man to Popery."

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Asa Don Brown

"In the course of history, men come to see that iron necessity is neither iron nor necessary."

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Asa Don Brown

"A man in passion rides a horse that runs away with him."

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Asa Don Brown

"The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble."

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Asa Don Brown

"The vote is the most powerful instrument ever devised by man for breaking down injustice and destroying the terrible walls which imprison men because they are different from other men."

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Asa Don Brown

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

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Asa Don Brown

"The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything."

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Asa Don Brown

"Woman is a vulgar animal from whom man has created an excessively beautiful ideal."

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Dennis Miller
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
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Dennis Miller
"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
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Dennis Miller
"There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it."
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Dennis Miller
"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."
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Dennis Miller
"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
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Dennis Miller
"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
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Dennis Miller
"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
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Dennis Miller
"The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens."
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Dennis Miller
"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
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Dennis Miller
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
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