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"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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Personal Development

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development
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"If the sky was the limit, stars would not light our way to the edge of the universe."
Inspirational

"In light, there is no darkness; and in darkness, there is no light."
Balance

"Moving rocks today strengthens you for moving mountains tomorrow."
Growth

"Wealth is a small blessing, health is a great asset, happiness is an extraordinary treasure, and life is a remarkable reward."
Gratitude

"One who takes the road less traveled earns the rewards most missed."
Challenge

"To go where no man has gone before, follow the steps of Jesus."
Spiritual

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
Humor

"You are no greater than the friends you keep, the books you read, the heroes you admire, and the obstacles you overcome."
Relationship

"An open heart has greater power than a clenched fist."
Compassion

"There is no greater beast than envy, no greater thief than fear, no greater enemy than greed, no greater predator than wrath, and no greater poison than bitterness."
Emotional
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