"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Leg, Respect

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"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, God, Idiots, Practice, School

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Literary

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"Positive thoughts precede positive results."

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"Intelligence will teach you how to make a living, wisdom will teach you how to make a life."

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"A book is the only vehicle that can take you around the world in one hour."

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"School is a hospital where people recover from ignorance, life is a hospital where people recuperate from arrogance."

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"A seed only realizes its potential the day you bury it."

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"The real power of a leader is in the number of minds he can reach, hearts he can touch, souls he can move, and lives he can change."

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"If God wanted the woods to be quiet, He would not have given birds songs to sing."

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"A few hours spent reading a book is better than a lifetime of ignorance."

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"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

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