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"Every time I so much as blink you get an erection."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
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Personal Development
"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."
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Personal Development
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"No matter what the good boys tell you, criminality is not a level playing field."
Crime
"Writing is more about telling other peoples' stories than your own."
Storytelling
"He had become the sky around the sun " alive, but not really there."
Existentialism
"I'll be your friend until you find a better one."
Friendship
"I have a very addictive personality. If it isn't women, it's money. If it isn't money, it's speeding. And if it isn't speeding, it's women. I also like expensive video consoles where I can punch, kick, screw, shoot and drive legally all night anywhere I fucking well want to."
Addiction
"I'm much more than a writer " I'm someone who puts different words together in an interesting way."
Writing
"Every book contains a secret " even the writer doesn't always know what it is."
Literature
"On some days she was able to see both sun and moon at the same time. Like feuding cousins, they hung in two corners of the vast world-ceiling refusing to look at one another. The moon was always harder to spot and more faded, but it was there if you looked, as many things were."
Nature
"Don't mock my suggestions, Ridley " one day in the near future, they might just save your life. Maxwell D. Kalist."
Advice
"The fear of not being remembered is a dangerous thing."
Legacy
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