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"When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless."
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"The value of tolerance is central to living in today's world - especially in diverse places like the Bronx."
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"Unfortunately, I'm not a person that's always capable of living up to the Boy Scout philosophy."
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Explore more quotes by Larry David
"Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman."
"I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War."
"I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized."
"There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation."
"I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian."
"Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!"
"There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out."
"In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year."
"Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad."
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