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"I wasn't really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live - I'm not like an impressionist or anything."
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"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."

"When we got knocked out against Porto in the Champions League, I only slept two hours that night. I was not a nice person to be with after that match. I was struggling to get the result out of my system."

"Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament."

"I play against a front and a back every night, Ming does not have to do that, Duncan does not have to do that, Garnett doesn't do that. I am the only one that has to do that."

"Make sure you never, never argue at night. You just lose a good night's sleep, and you can't settle anything until morning anyway."

"As the blackness of the night recedes so does the nadir of yesterday. The child I am forgets so quickly."

"My dear doctor, I am surprised to hear you say that I am coughing very badly, as I have been practising all night."

"How lovely are the portals of the night, when stars come out to watch the daylight die."

"I'll have to have a room of my own. Nobody could sleep with Dick. He wakes up during the night, switches on the lights, speaks into his tape recorder."

"I never expected that. I didn't aim for that. All I wanted was to get some nice pictures of trains at night."
Explore more quotes by Victoria Jackson


"Maybe I'll learn how, but the only thing I can do is turn down parts that would hurt my conscience."


"Maybe if I could ever be a successful comedian then I could be an example that Christians can also have fun."


"That's pretty much why I went into show business because I wanted to have a guitar and sing unaccompanied, that was like my fantasy of the perfect life."


"I got a gymnastics scholarship to college, fell in love with my true love of my whole life - who I'm married to now - and he was a virgin too. It was very romantic."
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