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"The trade of critic, in literature, music, and the drama, is the most degraded of all trades."
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"I'm lucky to be in a profession where you can keep getting better."

"The financial value put on the job of the writer and the misconceptions around that make it extremely difficult to enter the profession."

"That's one great thing about my profession, traveling to locations."

"The Scientist - with capital letters and no smile."

"I would not encourage everyone to take up this profession. Not everyone is suited for any particular field."

"He couldn't be a doctor, or he would have a quieter and more persuasive manner."

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her."

"The most exquisite pleasure in the practice of medicine comes from nudging a layman in the direction of terror, then bringing him back to safety again."
Explore more quotes by Mark Twain

"Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."

"In the afternoon the ship's company assembled aft, on deck, under the awnings; the flute, the asthmatic meodeon, and the consumptive clarinet crippled the Star Spangled Banner, the choir chased it to cover, and George came in with a peculiarly lacerating screech on the final note and slaughtered it. Nobody mourned. We carried out the corpse on three cheers (that joke was not intentional and I do not endorse it)."

"When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved."

"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little."

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"Schoolboy days are no happier than the days of afterlife, but we look back upon them regretfully because we have forgotten our punishments at school and how we grieved when our marbles were lost and our kites destroyed - because we have forgotten all the sorrows and privations of the canonized ethic and remember only its orchard robberies, its wooden-sword pageants, and its fishing holidays."

"T[he rules of writing] require that the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others."
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