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"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
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Exlpore more Work quotes
"The job description, like most, used complicated words that made job-hopefuls hesitant to apply because it may be out of their range of capability."
"We are so used to working that not working is the new hard work."
"And yet, troublingly, there is one difference between 'labour' and other elements [raw materials, machinery] which conventional economics does not have a means to represent, or give weight to, but which is nevertheless unavoidably present in the world: the fact that labour feels pain."
"A salary is a tax employers pay, every four weeks, for putting an employee's dream on hold."
"Read the Bible. Work hard and honestly. And don't complain."
"Work is a vehicle with which man chases some fleeting destination called a full tummy."
"To some women, a job plays the role of a man. To most women, a man plays the role of a job."
"A specialist's mind is a slave to his specialization."
"Employee Engagement"Employee Engagement has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup Polls' "The State of the American Workforce survey found that only 32.5 percent of the U.S. Workforce is engaged and committed where they work, and 54 percent say they would consider leaving their companies if they could receive a 20 percent raise elsewhere. Disengagement not only lowers performance, morale, and productivity, but it's costing employers billions of dollars a year. It's a growing problem, which has many companies baffled."
"12% of employees eat because they are hungry. 88% of employees eat because it is 1 o'clock."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"
"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."
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