"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Mother, Husbands

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"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Exlpore more Mother quotes

"My father and mother - I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material."

Jerry Stiller, American Comedian

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"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"Habits are the daughters of action, but then they nurse their mother, and produce daughters after her image, but far more beautiful and prosperous."

Jeremy Taylor, British Clergyman

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"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."

Amit Kalantri, Indian Author

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"Just before my final year of high school, my brother, sister and I moved with my mother to San Francisco."

Eric Allin Cornell, American Physicist

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"There are things that you cannot talk to your mother and father about, there are things that you cannot talk to your children about."

Shirley Knight, American Actress

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"When I was four years old, my mother owned some tenements in the Bronx."

Cy Coleman, American Composer

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"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"My mother would put me on a wooden box at the stove and tell me to call her if certain things would happen. Like if the steam turns blue, that is danger!"

Paul Prudhomme, American Celebrity

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"I think what I came through is great, but my son can take it to another level, not having to fight racism. His mother's a Norwegian and I'm mixed up four or five times, so he can face the world."

James Brown, American Musician

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Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."

Time

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

Age

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

People

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

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"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."

Love

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

Love

"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them."

Care

"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."

Men

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."

Dogs

"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

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