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Rita Rudner

"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

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"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

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Amber Hurdle

"The longest tenured First LOVE and Greatest TEACHER, in-fact life long, is none the other, but Mother."

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Amber Hurdle

"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."

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Amber Hurdle

"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

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Amber Hurdle

"I know Mother named me after a railroad man, but it's too late now, I'm afraid. Much, much too late."

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Amber Hurdle

"I want to thank my mother and my father for teaching me to have a dream. You are seeing my dream come true."

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Amber Hurdle

"My mother, Dorothy Watson, had met my father in a Greek class at Northwestern University."

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Amber Hurdle

"With each piece I've completed I have worked to make it intact, and each of them has been an equal high. It's like children. A mother refuses to pick out one as a favorite, and I can't do any better with the dances."

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Amber Hurdle

"My mother always wanted me to be glamorous. When I thought about that, it really fired me up, and once I lost all those pounds, I started to feel really good about myself."

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Amber Hurdle

"My mother was a jazz fanatic and she wanted me to play the piano so I could play jazz tunes. I wish I had learned but I was too busy getting into trouble!"

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Amber Hurdle

"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Rita Rudner
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
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Rita Rudner
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
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Rita Rudner
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
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Rita Rudner
"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
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Rita Rudner
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
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Rita Rudner
"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
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Rita Rudner
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
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Rita Rudner
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
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