"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Mother, Husbands

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"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Exlpore more Mother quotes

"My father knew the charming side of my mother, and my mother thought that he was attentive and pleasant and was an architect, which was a respectable profession, but I don't think that they actually got to know one another deeply."

Christopher Durang, American Playwright

Mother, Father, Thought, Profession

"I have many memories of waking up to eat breakfast that my mother carefully prepared for us and her saying, what do y'all want for lunch, and as we're eating lunch, what do y'all want for dinner? It's always about the next meal."

Lisa Loeb, American Musician

Mother, Eating, Memories, Saying

"I don't remember my mother ever playing with me. And she was a perfectly good mother. But she had to do the laundry and clean the house and do the grocery shopping."

Patricia Heaton, American Actress

Mother,

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Mother, Blessing, Love

"My mother wasn't rational those last years; if she had been, she would have been horrified by her own behavior."

Lorna Luft, American Actress

Mother, Behavior, Years

"My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles."

Hedy Lamarr, Austrian Actress

Mother, Girls, Miracles, Ugly

"Necessity, the mother of invention."

George Farquhar, Irish Dramatist

Mother, Invention, Necessity

"The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children."

Jessica Lange, American Actress

Mother, Children, Motherhood, State

"I praticed making faces in the mirror and it would drive my mother crazy. She used to scare me by saying that I was going to see the devil if I kept looking in the mirror. That fascinated me even more, of course."

Jim Carrey, Canadian Comedian

Mother, Devil, Faces, Saying

"I am no mother, and I won't be one."

Brigitte Bardot, French Actress

Mother,

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."

Love, Husband

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

Woman, Women, Fire, Ugly

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life, Love, Being, Rest

"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life, Rest, Want

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Office, Portraits

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

Age, HusbDay, Want, Worth

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

Love, Purpose

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."

Husband, Ruin

"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

Children, Friends, Labor, Want

"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Marriage, Men, Pain