"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Mother, Husbands

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"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Exlpore more Mother quotes

"The longest tenured First LOVE and Greatest TEACHER, in-fact life long, is none the other, but Mother."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

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"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."

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"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

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"Sarah will talk to me about someone and I don't know who she's talking about, but if she talks to my mother, the two of them will know exactly - and across several generations, too."

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"That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself."

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"My mother's a secretary; my father's an electrician in a mining company."

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Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

Love

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."

Husband

"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."

Husband

"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life

"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."

Feet

"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Marriage

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."

Marriage

"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"

Children

"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."

Boyfriend

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Office