top of page
.png){kind=small}
"ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."
"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."
"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."
Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce
"Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus:Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore-Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed."
"This is only a record of broken and apparently unrelated memories, some of them as distinct and sequent as brilliant beads upon a thread, others remote and strange, having the character of crimson dreams with interspaces blank and black -- witch-fires glowing still and red in a great desolation."
"Ignoramus: a person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about."
"They were obviously headstones of graves, though the graves themselves no longer existed as either mounds or depressions; the years had leveled all. Scattered here and there, more massive blocks showed where some pompous or ambitious monument had once flung its feeble defiance at oblivion."
"Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name."
"Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."
"Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."
"Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure."
bottom of page