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"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
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"Death is the ultimate cessation of the individual Self."

"Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism."

"Most people do not mind dying, as long as that does not happen today."

"Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die."
Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney

"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."

"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."

"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."

"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."

"Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt."

"I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points."

"When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper."

"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."
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