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"When some smart ass asks you if you're driving, you say, 'Nope, just kicking the tires.' You have to make sure you actually kick them all on your way around to the passenger side. Otherwise it's like lying."
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Exlpore more Sarcasm quotes
"It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs."
"Great! He has indigestion, so let's torture him with cake."
"You're so full of it, darlin'."
"I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood."
"You should always believe what you read in the newspapers, for that makes them more interesting."
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien
"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
"Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when 'Land Down Under' plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America."
"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
"Oh, Alice, you haven't even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time's right I don't think I'll have to 'try' to have my way with you. I just WILL."
"I like it because when people use a lot of poker lingo, it usually means they've been playing the game for a while. Which is why I immediately avoid those people."
"Do you really think I'd let him call my sister a 'bitch?' Or you for that matter? Talon Hawk's dumb, but he's smarter than that he'd be crawling around on his hands and knees picking his teeth off the tiles."
"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."
"Souris says you wanted to see me, so here I am. Talk quick before I decide to beat the shit out of you and throw your bloody carcass back across the International Date Line."
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