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"This is going to sound strange, but I really didn't think I would pass 30. I don't know why or whatever, I just didn't. That's a very weird thing to say, I'm sorry. I don't know. Maybe it's because I was drinking so much as a youth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I drank beer, and I had a career year."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The last two years with the Eagles were pretty intense times. There was a lot of drinking and we were all getting high a lot. My parents were relieved when I got off the Eagles treadmill."
Author Name
Personal Development
"At the Olympics in China, every color was represented... and that was just the drinking water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I tried to give up drugs by drinking."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"
Blind
"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."
Windows
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Car
"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
Thought
"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"
Marriage
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
Building
"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."
Night
"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"
Kitchen
"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
Age
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Drink
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