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Exlpore more Drink quotes
"The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation."
"Those persons who suffer from indigestion, or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true principles of eating and drinking."
"I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking."
"I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow."
Explore more quotes by Tommy Cooper
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"
"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"
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