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"My malady was submission.The symptom: my compliance.The antidote was loud clear boundaries."
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"The desire to be nice to everyone and please everyone and the inability to firmly say no is what destroys believers most of all."
"While you will certainly attract more bees with honey, there are times when being nice can backfire. Take it from a naturally kind person, being a "bitch has its time and place. There will be times when you must engage with mean, rude, and inconsiderate people."
"Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing people to destroy you."
"Never chase a person, because if they want to be in your life, they will. It amazes me how people go out their way for someone who does nothing for them, doesn't encourage or support their efforts. Stop seeking attention from people who don't give you the time of day. Value your time, comfort your spirit, have peace of mind. There are people who love you and care about you.Give your smiles to them, Reciprocate!"
"Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset and/or expects you to say YES all of the time clearly doesn't have your best interest at heart. Always remember: You have a right to say NO without having to explain yourself. Be at peace with your decisions."
"We violated each other's boundaries with verbal missiles of anger disguised in the pretense of 'just kidding."
"Boundary violations are deeply experienced."
"We should not judge people or try to figure out what makes them tick. We should leave them the hell alone."
"I will feel no guilt on shutting my door to those who didn't listen."
"True closeness respects each other's space.You can never get any measuring instrument to compare and set on a pedestal how one truly cares for you in any kind of relationship.There is a big difference between closeness and dependency, compassionate, honest, generous, humble heart thanprejudiced, jealous, insecure heart.Each one should respect the growth of a relationship as we all evolve in a world interconnected with many hearts, minds and souls."
Explore more quotes by Aspen Matis
"Absolutely devout in her complete care of my body, she had only taught me to be weak and voiceless. But I had unlearned that lesson. Our enmeshment no longer felt to me like proof of love. I was no longer willing to permit this silencing. Helplessness didn't have to be my identity, I wasn't condemned to it. I was willing-able-to change. Our enmeshment had been enabled by my belief that I needed her to help me, to take care of things for me-and to save me-but, back in the home where I'd learned this helplessness, I found I no longer felt that I was trapped in it."
"And the idea of light unexplainably produced out of nothing was haunting, it shook me. A flat drab mountain could produce its own light, no one in this whole world knows why, and if that was possible then of course there must be other things that seemed impossible that weren't, and so anything-great and terrible-felt possible to me now."
"I was able to pitch a tent and carry a backpack twenty-five miles a day through mountains-I'd mastered a thousand amazing physical feats-physically I'd become undeniably confident and capable-but physical weakness had never been the problem that I had. My true problem had been passivity, the lifelong-conditioned submission that became my nature."
"I realized that the most empowering important thing was actually simply taking care of myself."
"I had no evidence. No physical signs of my rape existed anymore. My body had already purged them. That was the irreversible reality."
"My path, beyond doubt or denial. I just hadn't looked toward it. I wasn't lost. I'd always known the way. If I'd only allowed myself to look. I had never been lost, only scared."
"I wanted him to declare in shock how overlooked and underestimated I had been ever since I was a child. How lucky he felt to be the one to have discovered me, to have me. I wanted him to look at me like maybe I was magic."
"The bravest thing I ever did was leave there. The next bravest thing I did was come back, to make myself heard."
"The entire time, he'd only ever looked at my body, never at my face, his empty eyes hungry, never seeing me at all. I wasn't the presence of a person, but a body. I could have said anything, he wouldn't have heard me. He'd never responded, not by stopping, not with his words."
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