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Fred Allen

"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."

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"Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done."

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Asa Don Brown

"The doctrine that all men are, in any sense, or have been, at any time, free and equal, is an utterly baseless fiction."

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"Be noble minded! Our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor."

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"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men."

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"Wine hath drowned more men than the sea."

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"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em."

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"I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all."

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Asa Don Brown

"Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation."

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Asa Don Brown

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

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Asa Don Brown

"All men are somewhat ridiculous and grotesque, just because they are men; and in this respect artists might well be regarded as man multiplied by two. So it is, was, and shall be."

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Asa Don Brown

"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."

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Fred Allen
"An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match."
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Fred Allen
"The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion."
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Fred Allen
"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."
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Fred Allen
"I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars."
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Fred Allen
"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."
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Fred Allen
"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."
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Fred Allen
"Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners."
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Fred Allen
"Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything."
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Fred Allen
"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."
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Fred Allen
"I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement."
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