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Elayne Boosler

"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."

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"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men."

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"But men are men; the best sometimes forget."

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"The men who followed Him were unique in their generation. They turned the world upside down because their hearts had been turned right side up. The world has never been the same."

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"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages."

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"Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course."

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Amber Hurdle

"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."

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"A vigorous temper is not altogether an evil. Men who are easy as an old shoe are generally of little worth."

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Amber Hurdle

"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."

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"Women may fall when there's no strength in men."

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Amber Hurdle

"Men's vows are women's traitors!"

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Elayne Boosler
"I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body."
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"I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me."
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"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?"
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"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot."
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"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."
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Elayne Boosler
"To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy."
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Elayne Boosler
"Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?"
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Elayne Boosler
"When the sun comes up, I have morals again."
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Elayne Boosler
"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
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Elayne Boosler
"My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions."
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