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"Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school."
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"It is said, that in Holland Interest is lower than in England."
"I think that's created a healthy environment. The comparisons to "ER" were maddening and there was this assumption that the two of us were looking at each other with rage and resentment, which was also not the case."
"Today's Russia is not to be compared with the Soviet Union of back then."
"How would you compare Polanski or Kubrick? I try not to do any comparisons."
"Lightning thief was good but the sea of monsters is better and has more action!"
"The Canadian spirit is cautious, observant and critical where the American is assertive."
"Prostitutes are paid for taking their clothes off. Celebrities are paid for putting others' clothes on."
". . . they would neither hate nor envy us if they did not deem us so much happier than themselves."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
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