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Dave Barry

"Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school."

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"Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Scarehouse is like Turkey Soap. The Girl House is better as a film!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The moment you compare yourself with another, you become inferior or superior."

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Amber Hurdle

"Lightning thief was good but the sea of monsters is better and has more action!"

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Amber Hurdle

"Comparison is a poison that slowly kills your soul."

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Amber Hurdle

"The dividing line between those who will be great and those who will be mediocre is the amount of time each person converts into added value to himself."

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Amber Hurdle

"He who hunts deer must not boast to he who hunts buffalo."

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Amber Hurdle

"Prostitutes are paid for taking their clothes off. Celebrities are paid for putting others' clothes on."

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Amber Hurdle

"Spirituality is to Religion, what Love is to Marriage. Spirituality is an emotional state of the mind, just like Love, while Religion on the other hand, is a social construct, quite like Marriage."

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Amber Hurdle

"You may as well say, 'That's a valiant flea that dare eat his breakfast on the lip of a lion."

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Amber Hurdle

"Comparison is a disease, one of the greatest diseases."

Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."
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Dave Barry
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."
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Dave Barry
"The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice."
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Dave Barry
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
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Dave Barry
"Oh, I'm not saying that alcohol is perfect. It has caused its share of problems. Russia is only one example."
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Dave Barry
"Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?'This translates roughly to: 'How the hell did these people win the Cold War?"
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Dave Barry
"Call me a proud American, if you want, but I truly believe that no other nation on Earth possesses the capabilities to put on a more powerful display of underwater mermaid patriotism."
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Dave Barry
"Passing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift."
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Dave Barry
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
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Dave Barry
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
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