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"I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?"
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"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
"Ronald Reagan used to alarm his Soviet counterparts by saying that surely they'd both unite against an invasion from Mars."
"Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, 'It's going to be a good day!'."
"Because Hightower's problem, among other things, is that advertisers would be a lot less interested in his show than in Limbaugh's, even if they have similar ratings, because of what Hightower is saying."
"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."
"I have to say that when I was young, when any politician was talking I wasn't even interested. Maybe they were saying some nice stuff, but then if you put Michael Jordan on TV, I was interested!"
"There was a lot of stress and assumptions made without me even saying anything, which was very upsetting."
Explore more quotes by Joe Bob Briggs
"If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure.""
"The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle."
"In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions."
"As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager."
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