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"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."
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Exlpore more Psychology quotes
"Your mindset serves as the operating system for your entire life's experience."
"A poor but confident man is as hard to find as a rich but shy man."
"Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not know it or them anymore."
"We are not as important to most people as we are to ourselves. As a matter of fact, we are-to most people-not important at all."
"Instead of breaking or cherry-picking the rules, many just follow the inner rules, which have been instilled during their lifetime and have subtly permeated their thinking. They value rules, as it offers the ravishment of a securing, ceremonial rhythm in life and it prevents them from breaking free from their cocoon, all the more because freedom can be so scaring and exhausting. ['When forgetting the rules of the game']"
"It is a great mystery to me how the problems of others seem like simple arithmetic while my own appear as complicated as a calculus equation."
"Even if we have bad feelings about our past and it causes a sense of alienation, it belongs to our history. Its benchmarks are stored in the granary of our mind and crucial evaluations for the future cannot be made without consulting the archive of our memory. ['Not without the past']"
"A first impression works like a magic mirror; it reflects what intrigues us rather than echoing a truthful picture. A first impression is the creating of an imagined character born from personal desires, perceptions, and biases. Though sparked by an introduction to a real, living, breathing individual, the person remains a mystery long after parting. It is a fictitious ghost masked with similar features that remains. A first impression is rarely accurate; therefore, it should never be trusted."
"Human nature is so complicated. Those who have little, want a lot. Those who have a lot, think others have more. Those who lose, blame others for the loss."
"If you babble enneagram, I am a five. If you boast myers-briggs, I am an introvert-intuition-thinking-perceiving."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
"When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"
"People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
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