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Ilona Andrews

"Shit" Bug said, his face sour. "It's that thing again. We've been dealing with it since Pierce. You think you have a lead and then poof" - he made a puffing motion with his fingers - "it melts into nothing and all you have is frustration and the far noise your face makes when you hit you desk with it."Fart.... what?"

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"Shit" Bug said, his face sour. "It's that thing again. We've been dealing with it since Pierce. You think you have a lead and then poof" - he made a puffing motion with his fingers - "it melts into nothing and all you have is frustration and the far noise your face makes when you hit you desk with it."Fart.... what?"

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Akiroq Brost

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

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Akiroq Brost

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

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"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

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"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

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Akiroq Brost

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

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Akiroq Brost

"Vengeance was one hell of a roommate."

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"Cheap booze is a false economy."

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Akiroq Brost

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

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Akiroq Brost

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

Explore more quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
"Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything."
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Ilona Andrews
"You can do without sleep or without food, but not without both and sleep wasn't an option."
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Ilona Andrews
"How did the hearing go? she asked."We won, sort of, Kaldar said. "We die at dawn."The court gave the Sheeriles twenty-four hours, William corrected."Yes, but 'we die at dawn the day after tomorrow' doesn't sound nearlyas dramatic."Does it have to be dramatic all the time? Catherine murmured."Of course. Everyone has a talent. Yours is crocheting and mine ismaking melodramatic statements."
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Ilona Andrews
"He was going to take a dive into this lake. He just didn't know it. Cerise rose, finding footing in the soft mud. The water came up to just below her breasts and her wet shirt stuck to her body. William's gaze snagged on her chest. Yep, keep looking, Lord Bill. Keeeeeep looking."
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Ilona Andrews
"Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature."
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Ilona Andrews
"I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. "One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you?""Lord."I rolled my eyes.He shrugged. "It's short."
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Ilona Andrews
"Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers."
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Ilona Andrews
"So you want me to track down a supernaturally fast sniper who can disappear into thin air, retrieve your maps, and do it so nobody finds out what I'm doing or why?''Exactly.'I sighed. 'I'll get the paperwork."
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Ilona Andrews
"He leaned toward me. Suddenly the space between us shrank."I will do everything in my power to ensure your survival, and should the need arise, I will put myself between danger and you." His voice was quiet and intimate. "Do not hesitate to use me as your shield."His voice sent tiny shivers through me.Wow."
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Ilona Andrews
"She had only two modes of operation: complete control or complete insanity."
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