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"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is."
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"At 21, I discovered repression and injustice. The army would shoot students with real bullets."
"The prosperity of a nation requires the protection of a senate. Hereafter a national senate may require the protection of a national army."
"Two new reports indicate that, under Bush, the Army is overstretched and under enormous strain. The National Guard and reserves have been weakened and we are experiencing numerous recruiting problems."
"The AEC had at its command an army of highly skilled scientists."
"Military police is very timely for our army."
"A doctor today would never prescribe the treatments my grandfather used in the Confederate Army, but a minister says pretty much the same thing today that a minister would have said back then."
Explore more quotes by Jon Stewart
"Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?"
"You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things."
"The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him."
"Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain."
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
"There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on "Friends" is."
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