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"I think we're part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand; a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is."
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"The best way to easily identify a counterfeit currency is to have a full exposure to the original currency. If you don't know your true vision, any satanic vision can cross your way and you might not know it."
"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."
"Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge."
"Knowledge is the key to the development of civilization."
"Two things influence one's wisdom: remarkable experience and " evenmuch more " accumulated knowledge."
"Yet Byron never made tea as you do, who fill the pot so that when you put the lid on the tea spills over. There is a brown pool on the table-it is running among your books and papers. Now you mop it up, clumsily, with your pocket-hankerchief. You then stuff your hankerchief back into your pocket-that is not Byron; that is so essentially you that if I think of you in twenty years' time, when we are both famous, gouty and intolerable, it will be by that scene: and if you are dead, I shall weep."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
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