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"Okay then, I suppose you get a pass on poker intimidation for the glasses, little brother. But everyone else is wearing them at the tables too, and they're all just sitting there, looking all serious, like they're birthing the Grand Theory of Everything."
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"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."
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Personal Development

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
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Personal Development

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."
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Personal Development

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."
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Personal Development

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."
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Personal Development

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."
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Personal Development

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."
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Personal Development

"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."
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Personal Development

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
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Personal Development

"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."
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"Oh, yeah, that goatee is really unattractive. That definitely belongs on a much fatter man."
Attraction

"I hear they're all infected with chlamydia, which just goes to show that you really can't tell who's got the clam. I mean, look at a picture of a koala, tell me you're not shocked."
Animals

"I'm good at being vague and unpredictable. It's sort of a hard habit to break."
Self

"By the way, don't thank me for saving you, thank the lifeguards. If it was up to me, I would've just carried you off to the building by the boardwalk that said SURGERY. I'm sorry, but there's a big difference between a family doctor treating you for the sniffles, and a guy who actually owns and knows how to use an operating table."
Education

"I slump in my chair, thinking how a narcotic party of one is no party at all."
Isolation

"Don't make me Alice-nap you, Alice. Because you know I can carry you."
Humor

"Pretty great view. You think they'd do something about the sharks."
Adventure

"Yeah, that's exactly how I feel when I'm around you: confused, but still satisfied.' I freeze, trying to figure out how to cancel it out and replace it with something that sounds a whole lot less like sex and a candy bar ad."
Relationship

"I don't need to look at your primal, white-hot, mutant pirate eyes, big guy. Just forget that I'm there, and I'll try to block out the fact that I ever met you. Basically we'll just act like we do every day."
Detachment

"The car doesn't so much drive as float above the road, like we're making our way to Sydney in a hovercraft."
Car
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