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"A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives or events that were painful, and I really have wracked my brain to figure it out. I pretty much have had a normal childhood. Maybe it was too normal."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

"People do not understand what a great revenue economy is."

"It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it."
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"Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal."
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