"You never know what you will find in your pants!"

Ken Poirot, American Motivational Speaker

Humor, Surprise, Observation, Reality

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"You never know what you will find in your pants!"

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"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

Munia Khan, Bangladeshi Poet

Humor, Satire, Criticism, Truth

"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."

Aristotle, Greek Philosopher

Humor, Fun, Wit, Culture

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

Francis Bacon, English Philosopher

Humor, Imagination, Man, Sense

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

George Eliot, British Author

Humor, Wit, Blood, Language

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Craig Ferguson, Scottish Comedian

Humor, Women, Life, Creativity

Explore more quotes by Ken Poirot

"There is no disgrace in being knocked down, there is only shame in not getting back up; never quit!"

Motivation, Resilience, Perseverance, Determination, Strength

"You are not sorry for what you did...you are only sorry for how it turned out for you."

Self, Regret, Truth, Self-Awareness, Reflection

"You have not lived until you have fled a city in a country where you do not speak the language in the middle of the night."

Experience, Adventure, Life, Travel

"Be proactive not reactive, for an apparently insignificant issue ignored today can spawn tomorrow's catastrophe."

Motivation, Planning, Preparation, Future, Responsibility

"The first lesson in constructing viral content is having the strength, courage, and self-confidence to get in touch with your own feelings, thinking about what profoundly affects you."

Creativity, Confidence, Emotion, Expression

"The Six Steps to Success: 1) Define Success 2) Devise a Plan 3) Execute and Overcome Adversity 4) Measure Results with Key Metrics 5) Revise the Plan 6) Work Hard."

Success, Strategy, Planning, Execution

"A successful person is often one who has failed more than most."

Success, Failure, Persistence, Effort

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Explore more quotes by Ken Poirot

"Ever day someone somewhere in the world is quoting me."

"Positive and negative attitudes are both contagious but only one is helpful."

"No one cares until someone cares, be that one!"

"There is no disgrace in being knocked down, there is only shame in not getting back up; never quit!"

"You are not sorry for what you did...you are only sorry for how it turned out for you."

"You have not lived until you have fled a city in a country where you do not speak the language in the middle of the night."

"Be proactive not reactive, for an apparently insignificant issue ignored today can spawn tomorrow's catastrophe."

"The first lesson in constructing viral content is having the strength, courage, and self-confidence to get in touch with your own feelings, thinking about what profoundly affects you."

"The Six Steps to Success: 1) Define Success 2) Devise a Plan 3) Execute and Overcome Adversity 4) Measure Results with Key Metrics 5) Revise the Plan 6) Work Hard."

"A successful person is often one who has failed more than most."