"You never know what you will find in your pants!"

Ken Poirot, American Motivational Speaker

Humor, Surprise, Observation, Reality

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"You never know what you will find in your pants!"

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

Humor, Aging, Appearance, Truth

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

Explore more quotes by Ken Poirot

"Live your life without ever having to ask, 'What if?"

Motivation

"I feel the reason we are all here, our purpose of being, is to help others find their little piece of happiness and heaven right here on earth."

Philosophy

"True beauty is a warm heart, a kind soul, and an attentive ear."

Morality

"Hard times define one's character."

Life

"The longer you remain distant, the deeper, wider, and darker the chasm becomes making it all the more difficult to bridge."

Relationship

"Each day we draft a new movement in our symphony of life, what melody will you compose today?"

Life

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Explore more quotes by Ken Poirot

"Live your life without ever having to ask, 'What if?"

"I feel the reason we are all here, our purpose of being, is to help others find their little piece of happiness and heaven right here on earth."

"True beauty is a warm heart, a kind soul, and an attentive ear."

"Hard times define one's character."

"The longer you remain distant, the deeper, wider, and darker the chasm becomes making it all the more difficult to bridge."

"Each day we draft a new movement in our symphony of life, what melody will you compose today?"

"Is a self help or personal development book ruining your life?"

"You begins with 'Y'-so ask, observe, and listen."

"Every day is precious as none of us knows when or where our journey will end."

"I try to avoid stories that end with...and he was never seen again."