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"I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle."
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"When she first moved to Brighton, the flat on the Lawns had felt luxurious and it had seemed as if she was settling down, sleeping in the same bed every night, the darkness uninterrupted by any hint of emergency. It had felt as if all her difficulties were over."

"Wealth will always find a way of escaping from societies without an established system of truth and honesty, into societies that are well established in truth and honesty."

"The markets don't like instability and they don't like uncertainty."

"If you make an inner-intent to remain steady in a completely unsteady atmosphere, you will be able to remain steady. This is because steadiness is indeed the quality of your own Self-form. So then, what do You have do with what is unsteady?"

"When you live by the demands and supply of life, your life becomes easily predictable."

"Sitting at the old patio table she'd cleared of leaves, she smiled and leaned back. The stars looked twisted in the limbs of the trees, like Christmas lights. She felt like part of the hollow around her was filling. She'd come here with too many expectations."
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive."


"House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad."


"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years.""


"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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