"The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with."

Humor, Playfulness, Stress, Animals

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"The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

Munia Khan, Bangladeshi Poet

Humor, Satire, Criticism, Truth

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

George Eliot, British Author

Humor, Wit, Blood, Language

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author

Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Craig Ferguson, Scottish Comedian

Humor, Women, Life, Creativity

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

Pawan Mishra, Indian Author

Humor, Truth, Observation, Happiness

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist

Humor, Contempt, Music, Order

Explore more quotes by Ryan Lilly

"Carve-out a niche, craft a personal pitch, push-out content and your brand is enriched."

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"Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove."

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"My best ideas come in the shower, where I'm showered with water, but also ideas."

Creativity

"Run after today, lest you run out of tomorrows."

Time

"Contributors and distributors tend to do better at personal branding than takers and fakers."

Branding

"A brand precedes, parallels, and leaves a path behind. What your brand will say, is saying, and has said matters more the deeper we go into the globalized, digitized, connection economy."

Branding

"Do billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who's at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales?"

Business

"You can't force creatives into a box. If you try, they'll no longer be creative. And no one will want your box."

Creativity

"Deciding which relationships to pursue can be difficult. Especially if you're trying to get hired by the Magic 8 Ball factory and that little triangle thing isn't floating right."

Relationship

"Stop waiting for creative inspiration. Start creating and inspire yourself along the way."

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