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"That's good. And speaking of spelling, tell me -- do you wrap your head in a towel after you shower?"
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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development

"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development

"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development

"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development

"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
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Personal Development

"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."
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Personal Development

"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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Personal Development

"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."
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Personal Development

"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."
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"That's good. And speaking of spelling, tell me -- do you wrap your head in a towel after you shower?"
Humor

"Its easy to fall for someone that will find humor in every situation."
Humor

"That's the thing about being the product of happily marries parents, You grow up thinking the fairy tale is real, and more than that, you think you're entitled to live it. So far, though, it wasn't working out as planned."
Expectation

"You should read something else."Why would he have done that to him?"I don't know," she said.Do you ever feel like Job?"She smiled, a little twinkle in her eyes.Sometimes."But you haven't lost your faith?"No," I knew she hadn't, but I think I was losing mine.Is it because you think you might get better?"No," she said,"its because its the only thing I have left."
Faith

"Having kids means taking care of them, raising them, loving and supporting them, and none of those things have anything to do with who makes them one night in the bedroom or the experience of being pregnant."
Parenting

"Before I started (college), that's the advice my dad gave me. He said to pick classes based on the teacher whenever you can, not the subject...his point was that good teachers are priceless. They inspire you, they entertain you, and you end up learning a ton even when you don't know it."
Education

"If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale."
Relationship

"She'd either be a heartless mother and wife or a spineless enabler, when all she really wanted was the man she'd once believed him to be."
Relationship

"I wish I had the talent to paint the way I feel about you, for my words always feel inadequate. I imagine using red for your passion and pale blue for your kindness; forest green to reflect the depth of your empathy and bright yellow for your unflagging optimism. And still I wonder: can even an artist's palette capture the full range of what you mean to me?"
Art

"And when I came in with tears in my eyes, you always knew whether I needed you to hold me or just let me be. I don't know how you knew, but you did, and you made it easier for me."
Relationship
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