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Christopher Morley

"Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs."

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"Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs."

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Amber Hurdle

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

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Amber Hurdle

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

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Amber Hurdle

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

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Amber Hurdle

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

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Amber Hurdle

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

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Amber Hurdle

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

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Amber Hurdle

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

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Amber Hurdle

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

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Amber Hurdle

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

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Christopher Morley
"Words are a commodity in which there is never any slump."
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Christopher Morley
"Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it."
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Christopher Morley
"Act like you expect to get into the end zone."
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Christopher Morley
"Man, an ingenious assembly of portable plumbing."
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Christopher Morley
"A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life."
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Christopher Morley
"The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets."
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Christopher Morley
"The enemies of the future are always the very nicest people."
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Christopher Morley
"Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going."
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Christopher Morley
"Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it."
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Christopher Morley
"I had a million questions to ask God: but when I met Him, they all fled my mind; and it didn't seem to matter."
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