"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."

Now,

23

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."

Explore more quotes by Tim Vine

"Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."

Father

"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."

Now

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

Driving

"I love acting, but it's all just a bonus."

Love

"I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy."

Day

"With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke."

People

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Building

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

Home

"I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum."

People

"Black beauty - he's a dark horse."

Beauty

Exlpore more Now quotes

"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Now, Tears

"Do not postpone your problems, solve them now! Because tomorrow you might be weaker than today and there might arise additional problems! Unsheathe your sword now; forget tomorrow, time is now!"

Mehmet Murat ildan, Turkish Philosopher

Now, Urgency, Truth, Life, Power

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."

Bertrand Russell, British Philosopher

Now, Question

"Better times perhaps await us who are now wretched."

Virgil, Roman Poet

Now,

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Now, Santa claus, Weather

"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."

John Dryden, English Poet

Now, Will

"What is now proved was once only imagined."

William Blake, English Poet

Now,

"What was previously perceived as nerdy is now viewed as original. What I like about nerdiness, geekiness, is it doesn't really matter what you're into - it just means you're not a follower."

Kristen Bell, American Actress

Now,

"I found I wasn't asking good enough questions because I assumed I knew something. I would box them into a corner with a badly formed question, and they didn't know how to get out of it. Now, I let them take me through it step by step, and I listen."

Alan Alda, American Actor

Now, Question, Questions

"I'm not anxious to be anywhere other than where I am right now."

Amy Grant, American Musician

Now, Right