"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."

Now,

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"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."

Exlpore more Now quotes

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

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"Roused by the lash of his own stubborn tail our lion now will foreign foes assail."

John Dryden, English Poet

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"What is now proved was once only imagined."

William Blake, English Poet

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"The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

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"If matters go badly now, they will not always be so."

Horace, Roman Poet

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"For years I wanted to be older, and now I am."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

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"The month of January, we were number one. Now, this is something we're proud of, because we recognize we're up against a formidable operation there at CNN."

Brit Hume, American Journalist

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"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."

Bertrand Russell, British Philosopher

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"Damn the sword! When Virginia wanted a sword, I gave her one. Now she sends me a toy! I require bread!"

George Rogers Clark, American Soldier

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"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

Woody Allen, American Director

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Explore more quotes by Tim Vine

"I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy."

Day

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

Holiday

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

Home

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

Driving

"Black beauty - he's a dark horse."

Beauty

"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet."

Thought

"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."

Fact

"Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."

Father

"I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself."

Love

"With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke."

People