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"The average IQ in America is-and this can be proven mathematically-average."
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"There can be no two opinions as to what a highbrow is. He is the man or woman of thoroughbred intelligence who rides his mind at a gallop across country in pursuit of an idea."
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
"Solving a problem is intelligence. Preventing a problem is wisdom."
"Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that, they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise."
"No, honestly, my mouth shouldn't be able to function unless my brain's engaged."
"One might almost define intelligence as the level at which an aware organism demands, 'What's in it for me?"
"Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?"
"Once intelligent beings achieve technology and the capacity for self-destruction of their species, the selective advantage of intelligence becomes more uncertain."
"Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people come from their intelligence. They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness."
"Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
"I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived."
"The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad."
"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380 SL convertible."
"The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it."
"Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have."
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