"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something."

Fish, Fishing, Want

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"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something."

Exlpore more Fish quotes

"The Cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days, we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Public Servant

Fish, Past

"I used to have some fish, some nice little carp, but they got too big for the tank. I don't have any pets now."

Tom Felton, English Actor

Fish, Now, Pets

"You can't eat fish. It's 6,000 parts DDT per million all over the world, not counting radiation."

Dick Dale, American Musician

Fish, World

"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."

W. C. Fields, American Comedian

Fish,

"Dead fish don't swim around in jealous tides."

Scott Weiland, American Musician

Fish, Tides

"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Fish, Fishing

"Neither fish, flesh nor good red herring."

Tom Brown, American Actor

Fish,

"I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry."

Carol Burnett, American Actress

Fish,

"I like to fish. Fishing is always a way of relaxing."

Tom Felton, English Actor

Fish, Fishing

"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin."

Dave Attell, American Comedian

Fish,

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."

Sister

"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

People

"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."

Life

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

Plants

"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."

Girlfriend

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

Tennis

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

Order

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Exlpore more Fish quotes

"The Cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days, we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."

"I used to have some fish, some nice little carp, but they got too big for the tank. I don't have any pets now."

"You can't eat fish. It's 6,000 parts DDT per million all over the world, not counting radiation."

"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."

"Dead fish don't swim around in jealous tides."

"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."

"Neither fish, flesh nor good red herring."

"I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry."

"I like to fish. Fishing is always a way of relaxing."

"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin."

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."

"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."

"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."