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"Elizabeth, you resemble nothing so much as a hen trying to hatch a book."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development

"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
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Personal Development

"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
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Personal Development

"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
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Personal Development

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development

"Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet."
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Personal Development
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"He closed his eyes. The insides of his eyelids were a brownish black, not at all the same as the thick purple of the night. Darkness had so many colors. It was strange, that, and perhaps a little disquieting. But--Oh!-A foot slammed into his left calf, and he opened his eyes just in time to see a woman tumbling backward.Right onto his blanket.He smiled. The gods still loved him."
Humor

"Yes?""When you said you weren't angry...""Yes?""Were you?""I was rather annoyed," he admitted."But not angry?" She sounded as if she didn't believe him."Believe me, Henry, when I get angry, you'll know.""What happens?"His eyes clouded over slightly before he answered. "You don't want to know."She believed him."
Emotion

"No one knows as well as I how much nonsense is printed in books."
Literature

"And if that weren't bad enough, the next sound he heard was a loud click.The damned woman had locked him out. She'd taken all the food and locked him out."You'll pay for this!" he yelled at the door."Do be quiet," came the muffled reply. "I'm eating."
Humor

"Did you know I have always suspected that men were idiots," Daphne ground out, "but I was never positive until today."
Gender

"Love's about finding the one person who makes your heart complete. Who makes you a better person than you ever dreamed you could be. Its about looking in the eyes of your wife and knowing all the way to your bones that she's simply the best person you've ever known."
Love

"And she never knew that he laid awake the whole time, his lips at her temple, his hand against her hair.Whispering her name.Whispering other words as well."
Love

"Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ - one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn't a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way."
Love

"Sometimes Hen...I think I would give my life just for one of your smiles."
Love

"Caroline stamped her foot in frustration, but when it landed, it landed on something considerablyless flat than the floor."Owww!" he yelled.Oh! His foot!Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , she mouthed.I didn't mean it."If you think I can understand that," he growled, "you're crazier than I'd originally thought."
Observation
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