"One Cardinal entered his cathedral for the first time at his funeral."

Humor, Irony, Truth, Wisdom, Observation

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"One Cardinal entered his cathedral for the first time at his funeral."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

Jennifer L. Armentrout, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Speech, Temper

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Social, Interaction

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years- barnyard sounds."

Simone Elkeles, American Author

Humor, Playfulness, Observation, Truth

Explore more quotes by Barbara Tuchman

"How much does a man's effort depend upon the age in which his work is cast? Pope Clement VII."

Effort

"Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill."

History

"A minister's (cabinet member's) function was not to DO the work but to see that it got done."

Governance

"He was always acting, always enveloping himself in artificiality, perhaps to conceal the volcano within."

Psychology

"Books are ... companions, teachers, magicians, bankers of the treasures of mind. Books are humanity in print."

Knowledge

"The art of oratory was considered part of the equipment of a statesman."

Leadership

"In individuals as in nations, contentment is silent, which tends to unbalance the historical record."

Contentment

"No single characteristic ever overtakes an entire society."

Sociology

"No less a bold and pugnacious figure than Winston Churchill broke down and was unable to finish his remarks at the sendoff of the British Expeditionary Force into the maelstrom of World War I in Europe."

Bravery

"To those who think them selves strong, force always seems the easiest solution."

Power