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"Man, Grandma, what big hair you have.""The better to style with, my dear."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development

"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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Personal Development
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"Dreams can twist your emotions like no reality can."
Emotion

"Hayden shouts, "To the new Teen Uprising!"
Youth

"Elasticity is a fundamental principle of perception."
Perception

"They all think medicine should be magic, and they become mad at me when it's not."
Health

"How can you pass laws about things that nobody knows?""They do it all the time," says Hayden. "That's what law is: educated guesses at right and wrong."
Law

"I begin to wonder if David was like me. Seeing monsters everywhere and realizing there aren't enough slingshots in the world to get rid of them."
Fear

"I went home and tried to sleep, but couldn't, so I stared up at the moon, watching how it's trailing edge faded into darkness, so close to being full, but not quite there. A pregnant moon, Grandma called it. Full almost to bursting, and ready to give birth to something unthinkable."
Nature

"And you know the darkness beyond despair, just as intimately as you know the soaring heights. Because in this and all universes, there is balance. You can't have the one without facing the other. And sometimes you think you can take it because the joy is worth the despair, and sometimes you know you can't take it and how did you ever think you could? And there is the dance; strength and weakness, confidence and desolation."
Philosophy

"And I think, if thoughts are worth a penny, how much less promises must be worth. Especially the ones you're likely to break."
Philosophy

"The way I see it, the impossible happens all the time; but we're so good at taking it for granted, we forget it was once impossible."
Wonder
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