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"She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years- barnyard sounds."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development

"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development

"Milk is the only juice in a world of cows."
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Personal Development

"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
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"This connection we have isn't going away, it's only getting stronger. Because the more I spend time with her, the closer I want to be."
Romance


"If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich...not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard."
Identity


"Hey, Carlos,' the Professor says when he walks in. 'How was REACH?''It sucked.''Can you be more specific?' my guardian asks.'It really sucked,' I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word."
Dialogue


"And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours."
Humor


"I thought we were gonna take this relationship slow.''A back rub is harmless.'My eyes roam over her kick-ass bikini-covered bod. 'I'll have you know I've been intimate with girls wearin' a lot more."
Affection


"Snakes don't have fuckin' legs, so how was I supposed to think there'd be one hidin' in the face of a damn rock that's ten feet below the summit?"
Adventure


"She's a Texan, born and raised. Football is in our blood."
Tradition


"Do you think about making love with me?'I lie awake most nights, fantasizing about sleeping next to her ... loving her. 'Right now, muneca, makin' love to you is the only thing on my mind."
Desire


"Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!"
Humor


"What are you boys doing? she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.'Arguin', Carlos says matter-of-factly."
Family
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