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"Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'"
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"God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal."
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Personal Development
"To know God better is only to realize how impossible it is that we should ever know him at all. I know not which is more childish to deny him, or define him."
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Personal Development
"An omnipotent God is the only being with no reason to lie."
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Personal Development
"Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God."
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Personal Development
"The gods are watching, but idly, yawning."
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Personal Development
"God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best."
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Personal Development
"Reason is God's crowning gift to man."
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Personal Development
"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."
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Personal Development
"The reader becomes God, for all textual purposes. I see your eyes glazing over, so I'll hush."
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Personal Development
"It is quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humor, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance."
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"With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!"
Luck
"Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."
Health
"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."
Humor
"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."
American
"Do your kids a favor - don't have any."
Kids
"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator."
Time
"Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people."
God
"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."
Politicians
"Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards."
Life
"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"
Elections
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