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"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
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"In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants."
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Personal Development
"The next stage of evolution is the evolution of perception, the evolution of the mind."
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Personal Development
"Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there's nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone."
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Personal Development
"For a man, the optimal evolutionary strategy is to disseminate his genes as widely as possible, given his few minutes (or, alas, seconds) of investment in each encounter. It all makes simple evolutionary sense, since a woman invests a good deal of time and effort -a nine month long, risky, strenuous pregnancy, in each offspring. Naturally she has to be very discerning in her choice of sexual partners."
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Personal Development
"We must throw out the old, fear-based thought-forms and evolve, and begin to live as higher beings of compassion."
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Personal Development
"As we transcended and transformed from Neanderthal so will future humans transcend to a new level of consciousness and transform into a super human or homo-cosmicus."
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Personal Development
"There is nothing ideal in Nature, because it was not created by some sort of ideal Almighty Being with perfect peerless craftsmanship. Nature as it is, has evolved through millions of years out of the biological drive for survival."
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Personal Development
"As the neo-cortex of the brain keeps getting more complex through further evolution, eventually our far away progeny will born in a world where there will be no more religion to be endowed upon them."
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Personal Development
"The reality however is that in order to make progress in life, we have to embrace discomfort."
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Personal Development
"It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man."
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Personal Development
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"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
Experience
"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting."
Husband
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient."
Disgrace
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
Congress
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
Evolution
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."
Committee
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?"
Tax
"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
Television
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
Opportunity
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
Company
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