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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."
Author Name
Personal Development
"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The difference between your crazy and my crazy is that you don't think you're crazy."
Author Name
Personal Development
Explore more quotes by Mark Twain
"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
Humor
"Never let your education interfere with your learning."
Advice
"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."
Humor
"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul."
Unity
"The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."
Wisdom
"Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority for any town?"
Society
"The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe."
Nature
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."
Humor
"Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."
Life
"Go to bed early get up early-this is wise."
Wisdom
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